A healthy relationship is one where two independent people just make a deal that they will help make the other person the best version of themselves.
protip: if you cant remember someones name, just call them “old sport”
If you wanna be my lover
You’ve gotta throw huge parties to get my attention and get your neighbor to invite me over for tea then let me run over my husband’s mistress in your car
care to try some Old Sport, old sport?
OH MY GOD I JUST SPIT EVERYWHERE
48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.
Sometimes, I wish I could ban my students from saying the word “gay” unless we’re specifically talking about homosexual people. Today one kid said that the ceiling was gay. Ceiling can’t be gay. Ceiling can’t even be straight. Ceiling is ceiling. Ceiling’s sexual preference is light bulb.
- Three year-old me: oh my god dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets.
- Me now: oh my god dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets.
That is part of the beauty of all literature. You discover that your longings are universal longings, that you’re not lonely and isolated from anyone. You belong.
Markus Zusak
If you say “old sport” three times in front of your mirror Gatsby will appear and awkwardly hit on your wife
(Source here)
I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WAS EXPECTING.
After I listened to this I was like ‘what’s that sound’ and IT WAS ME WHEEZING BC I CAN’T HANDLE THIS
I’m so sorry.
I KNEW IT WAS COMING BUT I STILL WASN’T PREPARED
IT ACTUALLY TOOK ME BY SURPRISE
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